She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Randomize
