porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
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