you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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