i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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