is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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