she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
