I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
