About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Randomize
