So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
It's shark week go big or go home
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Randomize
