and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Randomize
