We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
