I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize