I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
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