Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
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What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
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Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??