Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
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You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.