I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Randomize
