Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
