He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
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This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
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I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.