Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.