yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?