everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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