Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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