Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize