The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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