and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
