Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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