i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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