the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
