Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
