you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
