you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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