theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
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