hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
