i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
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