New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
organizing the empties. That sober.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Randomize
