mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
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he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
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I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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