how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
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