That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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