Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
