I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
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