i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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