i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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