the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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