Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
