imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Everyone says I win the strip club
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
