Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
