You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
