Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
