There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
