Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Randomize
