I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
well you can't waste a boner
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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