Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Randomize
