Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
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