hotel room ftw
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
