I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
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