I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize