If that was your dad, he is hot
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
