I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Randomize