if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Randomize
