ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Let's get the cat blown out
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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