Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Randomize
