I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
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I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
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We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
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