We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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