Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Randomize
