I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
