Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Randomize
