I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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