His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
