How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
