He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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