She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize