I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
