I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
