Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Randomize
