If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Randomize
