Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
